In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? "Los submarinos."

Okay, here is part two of the Falling Skies finale parody recap.  I loved part 2 by the way.  Some excellent human moments.

I'm pretty sure that some of this is from part 1 but I didn't actually do this as formally as I normally do.  I did it from memory, while at work, when someone asked for a recap of the episode on IMDB.  Now I wish I would have done the entire season.

Part 2 of the Season Finale of Falling Skies, only quicker and funnier.

Somewhere outside of Military Base, Code name:  5th Grade

Maggie: Yo Pope!
Pope: *grumbles something witty*
Maggie: *tries really hard to look mean*
Maggie: *epically fails*
Pope: So how come you aren't coming on this little trip?
Maggie: I don't ride with Scum.
Pope: *looks wounded, but not really*
Maggie: Seriously, I haven't forgot what you did and what you didn't do but let other people do.
Pope: Ugh huh.
Maggie: If you hurt these people, I'll make you pay!
Pope: Maggie, you drank the Kool-Aid.
Maggie: They have Kool-Aid?
Pope: No, Yes. You know what I mean.
Maggie: I'm watching you Pope!
Pope: Technically you aren't becuase you aren't coming.
Maggie: STFU!

Inside 5th Grade

Ben: Hey old guy? We are friends right? Like if I told you a secret you wouldn't tell anyone right? No matter how creepy and disturbing?
Old Guy: *ponders*
Ben: *stares*
Old Guy: Sure! Why not! Seems Weaver has set the bar for inappropriate male adult/male child relationships. Why not!
Ben: Great! ImightbeturningintoaskitterbutitsokaybecauseIcanheartheirfrequenciesandstuff
soIcanhelpmaybedothatsignalblockingthingyoumentioned.DontbescaredIwonteatyou!
Old Guy: Well why didn't you just say so in the first place!!!

 Outside Again

Weaver: *leaves Tom 2 giant bags of Mech bullets*
Tom: What the eff are these for?
Weaver: You know, in case some creepy harnessed black kid runs away and tells the skitters all of our plans and you have to defend the civilians.
Tom: But wait, I thought I was staying here so I didn't die!
Weaver: It's all hypothetical Tom. Nothing to worry about I'm sure.
Creepy Ricktter: *practices climbing on the ceiling*
Tom: And what is with all this "civilian talk?" Aren't all but like 2 1/2 of us "technically" civilians. Who the eff is protecting me?
Weaver: TOM! Look after Jimmy!
Tom: What?
Weaver, Pope, Hal and a bunch of Redshirts who are sure to die: *Drive off*


Radio Thingy

Old Guy: *tinkers with his radio*
Skidderman: *looks creepy on the ceiiling*
Dennis Quaid: Look out old man!!!
Skidderman: ATTTAACCCKKKKK!


Somewhere near Boston in an area where apparently no one has an accent

Pope: *sits in a truck bed with a giant gun*
Red shirt black guy: Stop driving like a maniac! And put your seatbelt on!
Pope: You are worried about the bombs. Nothing to worry about. They wont blow up. Well not yet.
RSBG: I'm not worried about the bombs. I'm worried about the mech bazooka you have there.
Pope: This? It's cream filled and powdered! Besides, the safety is on. I think.
The safety: *is NOT on*
Pope: Ooops.
RSBG: You are one crazy dude!
Pope: Only at 10:00 on Sundays!

Rent a Doc

Old Guy: *has a bit of a boo boo*
Glass: Rick attacked you? I can't believe it!
Ben: Yeah... about that! This one time, at Skidder camp...
Old Guy: He stole our radio thingy!
Ben: *sneaks out*

Ricktters Secret Lair

Ricktter: I knew you would come!
Ben: Yeah, give me the radio thingy.
Ricktter: No way dude! I wont let anyone hurt them. They love me. Like, A lot and stuff.
Ben: Give it to MEEEEE!!!!
Rick: NEVERRRRR!

5th Grade

Ben: Dad, Rick ran away, he is taking the radio thingy to the Skitters!
Tom: Fear not! I will find him and talk him back!
Ricktter: *runs with ninja like ability*
Ben: *chases him*
Tom: *chases them*
Lots of idiots:  *don't shoot Ricktter despite the fact that even Ben is telling them to stop him*
One particularly epic idiot: *goes to shoot Ben*
Tom: If you point that gun at my son again, I'll.... do something about it.
Maggie: Back the Eff up punk!
Ricktter: *gets away*

Bad News, Massachusetts

Weaver and crew: *have stopped*
Weaver: Yep, the other Mass' are in fact dead.
Redshirts: *stare because they have no speaking lines*
Weaver: You go this way, I go that way, blah blah blah. ATTACK!!!!!!!

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, does it make a sound?

Ricktter: *sits in woods*
Blonde harnessee: Rick, we have been talking to you but couldn't hear you so great.
Verizon guy: Can you hear me now?
Ricktter: I want to come back. Please take me back.
Blondee: Okay, but first tell me everything you know.

Later...

Tom: *finds Ricktter crying in the forest*
Ricktter: They abandoned me. Alien scum! I thought they loved me but they didn't.
Tom: Yeah, bad luck. Lets go back now.
Ricktter: I miss my daddy!
Tom: Really? Could have fooled me.
Ricktter: No I do. I told them everything and they didn't care. I thought they were better but they weren't.
Tom: What do you mean you told them everything? What did you tell them Rick?
Ricktter: Read my lips idiot.... EVERYTHING!!! You are all going to die!!!!!!
Tom: OMGWTF!!!

A woman hiding out in an abandoned building on the outskirts of Chicago: *falls in love with Hal!*

Camp Mason

Tom: ABANDON SHIP!
Glass: Woah, wait. What is going on?
Tom: I need a few people who can stay and defend the fort with me. The civilian civilians need to go in the tunnel and get the hell out of dodge!
Maggie: I'll stay!
Glass: Me too! God Girl, you can go with the Civilian civilians and I'll stay here even though likely anyone who gets hurt here will die anyway and the people could use me more.
God Girl: But I'm not a doctor. 1 year of med school makes me overly tired and broke at best!
Glass: Yeah but one year of this stuff and your as good as Doogie Howser!
Doogie Howser:  Hey!  I resent that statement! 
Tom: Alright, lets get prepared.

Camp Weaver

Hal: *rides up on his bike*
Weaver: How is it going?
Hal: How do you think it's going? They are all dead. Dead I tell you. We are being attacked left and right and no one made it to their legs. This sucks!
Weaver: Alright kid. You go back to the school and tell the Civilian civilians that the 2nd Mass came and fought. That we made a dent!
Hal:  What if we don't make a dent?  What if you totally fail?
Weaver:  Then lie you little goody two shoes!  Lie!
Hal: No way, I'm seeing this through. If you are stupid enough to stay then so am I!
Weaver: There will be other fights one day. Maybe you can lead those fights. Now go and spread the word! This is the gospel of Weaver!
Hal: Peace out!

Middle Earth, Speech Time!

Tom:  Okay, people... get in the hole!
People:  WTF?
Tom:  Look, everything will be okay.  People have been fighting wars against insurmountable forces since forever.  Right here for instance, people died so that we could die now after these aliens invaded us. If it weren't for William Wallace mooning the English, we would have no chance at winning this fight for our freedom!  This fight wont be won with numbers, but rather with courage and butt!
The People:  So you want us to moon the aliens?
Tom:  Get in the hole!

Lady with the baby:  *carries the baby in a pillowcase*
Glass:  He is so cute!
LWTB:  He is a miracle!
Glass:  Heh... *giggles*  I was just thinking...what do you suppose the Skitters would do with him?
Baby:  What?
LWTB:  *shrieks in fear*

Radio Thingy, again

Tom: Okay Old Guy, you have 8 minutes to use my son as a tuner and then he is in that tunnel!
Old Guy: What if they change the frequency?
Skitter: *remember that for later. Change the frequency!*
Tom: 6.3 minutes.
Ben: I can do this! I have to stay. The old guy is right.
Old Guy: Why is there a tunnel under a school anyway?
Tom: Fine, stay.  See if I care.

Battle of the 5th Grade

Tom's posse: *gears up*
Maggie: Yo, Weavers boyfriend?
Jimmy: The name is Jimmy!
Maggie: Okay, Jimmy. Watch my back and I'll watch yours?
Jimmy: Whatever. Yeah.
Tom: How many rounds do we have?
Dai: *is aparently all better*  
Someone: Some but not enough.
Tom: Super!  Lets make sure we totally waste them by not even aiming!
Dai:  Lets go all Mortal Kombat on their Alien Asses!

Old Guy: Let me know when.
Old Guy: *turns the dial*
Ben: *dies in pain*
Old Guy: Anything?
Ben: *dies more*
Old Guy: Ben? What are you doing?
Ben: Now now!
Old guy: The skitters are still coming. You suck at this!
Ben: WTF. That is the right channel.
Old Guy: We need a bigger antenna.
Ben: The flag pole!

Mech: *comes around the corner*
Tom: On my cue!
Arnold: JOHN CONNER, isnotmyson!
Tom: Now
Everyone: *Lights up the Mech*
The Mech: *Falls down and dies*
Tom: How many bullets you all got left?
Maggie: 2
Dai: 3
What's his face: 5
Jimmy: All of them! What?
Tom: So basically it still takes a million bullets to bring a mech down even when they are made of mech metal? Great.
The Ground: *shakes*
Staypuff Marshmallow Man:  *comes round the corner*
Tom:  Psst, wrong show!


Ben: More are coming!
Mechs: Duh duh Duh Duh Duh Duh.
Old guy: Hook these up to the flag pole!
Ben: *runs with jumper cables*
Tom: Young man! I told you to stay inside! 2 feet away through that open window is much safer!  A Mech battle to the death is no place for a young human/skitter hybrid such as yourself!
Everyone: *starts shooting the Mechs*
Tom: *hooks up the cables*
Ben: *collapses*
Mechs: retreat! retreat!
Skitters: I feel like we were supposed to remember something. Oh well.
Peeps: yay!!!!!


Return of the Hal!

Hal: *comes riding in*
Hal: WTF happened here?
Tom: Oh, this and that? Where is Weaver?
Hal: Pretty much everyone is dead. Weaver stayed behind to try and blow some shit up.
Tom: The radio thingy worked. We can't miss this opportunity. The aliens are all confused or just too stupid enough to change the channel.
Hal:  Maybe they want to see how it ends and they don't have TiVo?
Tom:  I"m going to help Weaver not die. 
Hal: Cool. I'm coming with you. I fancy another ride on my motorbike that has endless amounts of gas!
Tom: No you have to stay and take care of your brothers, Ben and whats his name.
Hal: Fine!

5th Grade Classroom

Glass: Are you ready to lay under the stars? Because that is at all feasible.
Tom: Now you know I'm not coming Woman! So if something happens to me will you take care of Hal, Ben and whats his face?
Glass: Sure! Whatevs! You going to find Weaver?
Tom: He is my bestie!
Tom: *gets some play*

A Junkyard -aka- Earth

Tom: Yo Pope!
Pope: *grumbles something witty*
Pope: *is craddling a nearly dead man and says something about Christmas*
Tom: What?
Pope: Yeah, I heard no bombs so I'm pretty sure Weaver failed. This guy is nearly dead and normally I wouldn't care but it's almost Christmas. That is what I said.
Tom: It's not Christmas yet, don't lie. You were using him as a shield!
Pope: Guilty as charged!
Tom: Okay, take the nearly dead guy back to the school where no one will be because they are fleeing in the bizarrely placed tunnel! I'm going to find Weaver.
Pope: I got some junk in the trunk. Good luck.


Weaver: *was taking a nap*
Tom: Wake up Weaver!
Weaver: What are you doing here?
Tom: blah blah blah. Lets blow some stuff up while we got the chance.
Weaver: The little ships are all retreating to the big ships. I think we shocked them!
Tom: Lets shock them some more by hiting a nearly impossible shot that I'm not trained to make!
Weaver: Bet you 10 bars of soap you can't hit it.
Tom: You are on!
Tom: *fires big gun*
Little ship: *blows up and then blows some more stuff up*
Weaver: Good shot. Bet we got their attention.
Tom: So we should probably leave then?
Weaver: Probably

The Road

Weaver and Tom: *drive down the street*
Weaver: WTF?
Karenitter: *is in the street*
Tom and Weaver: *get out of the car*
Tom: Karen?
Karenitter: Tom?
Tom: WTF are you doing here?
karenitter: They brought me here. They are confused.
Weaver:  It's called experimentation!  Don't they have college where they come from?
Alien ship: *hovers down*
Shaqalien: *gets out of the ship*
Tom and Weaver: WTFIT?
Shaqalien: *takes one look at Tom and falls in love with Hal*
Tom: They're confused? About what?
Karenitter: They want to know what is going on between Weaver and Jimmy.
Audience: We all do!
Karenitter: They weren't expecting this much of a fight. They want to shoot the shit.
Tom or Weaver: They come here! Attack us all! Steal our children and now they want to talk?
Karenitter: Ugh Huh.
Tom:  Oh, Okay then.  These are my kinds of Aliens!
Weaver: I'm going to shoot this one where it stands.
Karenitter: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Weaver: Why the hell not?
Karenitter: Because of Ben.
Music: *is ominous*
Weaver: Don't believe it.
Tom: But, Ben can hear their frequency and stuff. It's creepy. That patch of skin on his back...
Weaver: We will find him some cream! Do not surrender for once in your life Tom!
Tom: Fine, I'll come with you!
Weaver: Why am I not surprised?
Tom: *Steps up and takes Karenitters hand*

Nobody puts Howard in a trashcan!

So I've never used this blogger thing.  I'm using it now to post my pretty funny recap for Falling Skies, which is a show I love by the way.  So this is all in fun. Anyway, I'd like a place to store them all so that I can keep track.  Maybe I'll even add some old ones I have for the show Heroes here at a later date.

Camp Mass, Auditorium of Bad Film

Lots of people: *Watch some lame cartoon and laugh rather inappropriately.*
People at home:P *laugh uncontrollably* 
 
The Lab -aka- Some classroom
 
Glass: So, not to be the bearer of bad news but your kid might sometime soon spout a shell and become all homicidal.
Tom: That is... inconvenient. 

A Classroom -aka- Battle Strategy Central
 
Tom: Weaver is batshit crazy!
Weaver: I am not. Lock him up!
Convenient Military trained soldier: *looks confused and happy at the same time*
CMTS: Sir? Because he is questioning your ability to lead?
Weaver: NO! Because he isn't as clean shaven as the rest of us.
CMTS: Sure!
Jimmy: WTF? 

Offscreen
 
Hal: *goes on scouting mission with girlfriend #3*
Maggie: *never questions anything*
Hal and Maggie: *come back*
Jimmy: *tattles on Weaver*

Skitters: *are allegedly all over the road* 
 
Radio Thingy Place
 
Old Guy: *plays with a radio*
Ben: *helps him and hears crazy Skitter radio waves and dolphins squeeking*
Old Guy: Ben, I have to go do something. See you later.
Ben: *sneaks back in and stares at the plot point*
Rick: I want to go home.
Ben: You are home.
Rick: No, with my real family, who loves me. You know the creepy aliens who abducted me, stuck some creepy thing in my spine and then pretty much molested me us on a daily basis. Don't you want to go to?
Ben: Umm, no not really. Although, my brother is stealing all the play around here.
Rick: You feel the change. I know you do.
Ben: WTF AM I????????

All the while Pope has been babysitting the youngest Mason, growing tree's, knitting sweaters with "Go 2nd Mass" and building bombs and other Weapons of Mass Alien Destruction! 
 
WMAD Central
 
Weaver: Yo Pope!
Pope: *grumbles something witty*
Weaver: You know those things I told you to make?
Pope: The pastries? In the kitchen...
Weaver: Not the pastries, the bombs! But the pastries were good!
Pope: Sorry I get confused with my many diverse jobs around here. Yes the bombs. They are awesome!
Weaver: Can you make more?
Pope: I can but it will make the fuse so small that everyone will die!
Weaver: Awesomesauce! Just do it.
Pope: YES!

*Meanwhile A crew led by Jimmy (yes, it actually happened)  manages to break Tom out of his cell in the basement. Tom uses his super history teacher skills to disarm and smackdown the Professionally trained soldier guarding him* 
 
Dr.'s Quarters

Dai: *wakes up*
Dai: *is badly injured from earlier mission that I didn't mention yet becuase no one cared*
Dai: Weaver.... lies..... Other mass' not checking in.... ABORT! ABORT! *cough* *gag* 

WMAD Production Central!
 
Tom: Yo Pope! Stop talking to my kid you dirt bag!
Pope: Right, like you care about the little one, no one ever even knows where he is. What is this really about?
Tom: Your right, I think. It's about something else. Weaver lied, the other Masses didn't check in and he wants to attack on our own.
Pope: And?
Tom: Not good.
Pope: He told me to make lots of bombs.
Tom: Can you diffuse them? I'd ask nicely but I know you wont listen so I'll put my gun in your face but then after you agree I'm going to take it away and leave you alone so don't let me down.
Pope: *blinks*

Somewhere in Boston another woman falls in love with Hal! 
 
Rent-A-Doc
 
Tom and company: *trap Weaver*
Weaver: WTF is this about?
Tom: I know you have been doing drugs and stuff. (Oh yeah, forgot to mention that earlier too. Weaver was on drugs)
Weaver: AND! All the cool Colonels are doing it.
Tom: Give the people a chance to make their own decision.
Weaver: Nope, not gonna happen.
Tom: I had Pope diffuse the bombs.
Pope: *runs in gun blazing*
Tom: Syke! But I did steal the fuses myself because Pope is a douche bag!
Pope: Lets blow some stuff up and then have a nice souffle!
Glass: Weaver, We want to follow you we just have to have faith in you.
Tom: Have faith in us like we have faith in you.
Gun: *is in Weavers face*
Weaver: This is what you call faith? Really? Guns in my face?
Jimmy: *looks longinly at the Colonel*
Jimmy: Colonel?
Weaver: *looks in a very odd way at Jimmy*
Weaver: Jimmy?
The whole thing: *is uncomforatable*
Glass: *files this away as somehting to look in to*
Weaver: *Has changed his mind in a matter of seconds*
Weaver: Jimmy! Gather the peeps and tell them we have to talk. Tom, come with me because you are the yin to my yang and stuff. I want to blow shit to death and you want to talk shit to death. Lets let people decide. 

Movie Theatre/Meeting Hall
 
People: *wait anxiously*
Weaver: So, basically Porter is dead. The other Mass' are probably dead and lets be honest we will most likely be dead soon too so why don't we just blow some stuff up! I need 50 fighters. Not the attractive ones though because you will have to be around for season 2!
Pope: *reaches in his bag of hats and pulls out the one that says: "Reluctant Fighter."*
Red Shirts: *start volunteering*
Hal: I'm in!
Tom: WTF?
Hal: You're right, he doesn't make sense, but he also does. I just, have to do this. You know, for mom and girlfriend #1. 
Glass:  *Wishes Tom's stupid kids would stop mentioning "Mom."*
Weaver: Meet me outside! 

Weaver: Tom, thank you for showing me the error of my ways! You are the best 2nd in command ever! Besties again?
Tom: Besties!
Weaver: You have to stay here and defend the fort.
Tom: I wish I was going, except not really.

Tom: You don't have to do this. There will be other battles.
Hal: But I do! Someone attractive has to go on this mission!
Tom: Be safe. I love you.
Hal: Of course you do! Everyone does.
Hal's Afro:  *is sadly missing from this episode*

The Calvary: *gets ready to head out*
Warren G: Regulators!!!!!!!! Mount up!

End of part 1.