Justice is just ice smooshed together! 10 things we can learn from the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Trailer

Last night the internet broke with the role out of the newest Batman v Superman:  Dawn of Justice trailer.  The release of the trailer garnered a mix of emotions, most were seemingly positive.  The bottom line is that you can't please everyone.  Over the last few days this is the majority of what I saw on social media:

People Three Days Ago:  There isn't enough footage in this clip!  *grumble*

People Yesterday:  There is TOO MUCH footage in this trailer!  *cry*

It's funny because it's sad. 

Moving on; in this post I'm going to analyze the trailer and see what we can learn about it and more importantly, from it.  I think I'll call it the "Tornado in a Trailer Park" series, because it is my full intention to rip through the trailer from one end to the other and see what is left standing. 

Before I start I think I should make clear that I know how big of a deal this movie is.  It's been so long in the making that I'm almost scared to watch it, because if I don't like it I might just lose my faith in all things nerd.  Batman is my absolute favorite Superhero, and I wont lie, I teared up during the Justice League episode of Smallville, many years ago.  That said, I'll never understand why superheroes are fighting with each other, you would think there weren't enough super villains to keep them busy.  That isn't the case by the way.  There are in fact so many villains in the DC Universe that we could do without a few of them.  This guy for instance - unnecessary. 

*sigh*

What this movie should be called:  Batman v Superman:  Dawn of the realization that there are too many damn bad guys out there for the superheroes to be fighting each other.  Now lets rip this trailer apart and see what we can learn!

1. The entire first part of this trailer watches like a presidential debate.  Adorkable Kent, who for some reason doesn't know who Bruce Wayne is and walks around throwing shade for majority of this trailer, plays the role of the Democratic Party.  While Bruce, he plays the role of the Republican Party . It basically goes like this:

Kent: So, what do you think about this AWFUL guy who is trying to stop crime by locking up criminals? 

Wayne:  *Giggles at his own inside joke*

Kent:  Gotham scum lives matter!

Wayne:  All Gotham lives matter! 

Kent:  You can't be above the law, but you CAN be below it.  Think about it.

Wayne:  What about YOUR superhero, you know, the one who destroys cities, and is an illegal alien?  Deportation!!


What do you think, not Batman?



I think I have a problem with people who wear suits, and I'm not a hypocrite!

Seems valid.  It was riveting really, this first meeting, but *ugh* - isn't there enough Trump on TV?


2.  NEVER trust a guy with a side part and a crazy look in his eye.  Case in point:

There is even a clown!

Who doesn't?!

3.  Try not to inadvertently become what you are trying to destroy in the world.  That is all the philosophy you will get in this review.

You must all kneel before... wait?

4.  No one is above Shameless foreshadowing:

Look, that Plot Point is hidden on a sign, pay attention!

5.  God hates Aliens - Fact!  I'm not sure what kind of facts they actually used to come to this conclusion, but it is written on a sign, so it must be true.

Like you know!

Great Scott!

6. Always practice safe bondage.  It looks like even superheroes have safe words, and Batman did not hesitate to use it!  Wonder what it is?  Any guesses?  Superman looks pretty disappointed.

*waiting, in the grey dungeon of pain*

I think his face may have froze that way

Wienerschnitzel!  Wienerschnitzel!

Dammit, and I was in such a good mood!



I said wienerschnitzel!

Wait, now I'm really pissed.  Can't you tell by my different facial expression?

7. The more stuff you blow up, the less people will care what else is going on.  Just because Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, doesn't mean the rest of us are... slow it down there.  Not only did I almost vomit, but I had a hard time figuring out what was actually happening.  Oh wait, I see what you did there. 

WTF is even happening here?

Awesome!  The whole city is getting blown up!

8.  Remember that foreshadowed plot point I mentioned earlier, the one about doom?  Never, and I repeat, NEVER leave the bad guys body laying around mostly dead.  Mostly dead is not the same as all dead, everyone knows that.  This opens the door for people to come back and get you while your getting busy in a tent, prevents you from ever forgetting last summer, and allows any creeper with a brain and a side part to try and revive said bad guy, turning him into a Goro/Ninja Turtle/Groot hybrid intent on being the hammer that crushes your pretty skull, and further crushes your city.  Lex is not so quietly reminding them about rule number two of Zombieland, the double tap. 

He looks like he could just be sleeping! 
That is because you didn't chop him up in little pieces
and scatter him in space!

Truth!

You had to go and ask and spoil the big surprise...

 

It's NinjaGrootO, err, Doomsday! 

The best list of rules ever written.

9.  Never fear, a Woman will always save the day! 

Boom!

Batman:  Great, another costumed freak!

The Trinity!  The GODfather, The Scared of the Sun, and The Holey Costume!

10.  I leave you with one final lesson from this trailer.  The most important one yet.  Batman is infinitely cooler than Superman.  And don't you dare take that as a political endorsement!  Good day!

That's all!

*Boop*

You keep saying that word, I do not think it means what you think it means

What word is it that I’m going on about you ask?  I’m talking about the word “fan.”  I’ve always been a strong believer that people often confuse being a fan of something people do, or say, with being a fan of a person and who they are.  It’s entirely possible to be both, but the two aren’t reliant on one another.  

 

If I follow someone on social media, it’s because I like what they do or what they are involved in.  I don’t really know anything about them and who they are, and therefore can’t tell you whether or not they are someone I’d want to share a meal with.  So am I a fan of that person?  No, I’m a fan of their work, I’m a fan of their sense of humor, I’m a fan of their art, whatever it may be.  I like the work my doctor does, but for all I know he could be a douche!  There is so much more to a person than one thing they do, and personally I’m not quick to hand out admiration based on just one thing.  The same logic goes the other way as well; I’m not one to judge someone based on one thing, either.   

Last night I engaged in a conversation on Twitter, one that was initiated by a celebrity.  This celebrity gave his opinion on a subject matter, which happened to be selfies, and proceeded to discuss the topic with both a mix of serious conviction and the always needed comedic break.  Immediately I was struck by how incredibly cool and rare it was to see a celebrity really interacting with their fans beyond the typical-

Celeb:  Hey!  Here’s a cool picture of a bunch of people you follow all together in one groupie, watch my show! 

 

“Fan”:  OMG!  I love you!!  You’re so gr8 and hot and the best person ever!!  *squeeeeeeee*

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with the above type of exchange, so long as it doesn’t end in a skin suit.  But seeing someone really interacting, and not only sharing their thoughts, but being willing to hear others, I found that to be very telling about what that celebrity might stand for as a person, as opposed to just as a professional.   

The thing that bothered me was that there were some people who didn’t seem to know how to react to the situation.  They took things personally and they attacked someone to whom they would normally pitch baby making.  People have a tendency to two-dimensionalize celebrities; they are what they do and what they look like, and they don’t do or think about anything else.  At the first glimpse of real life and real ideals, some people freaked out.  

This is really just one example, countless others can be found in judgmental stories on magazine covers, the internet, and social media.  When celebrities show their real people suddenly become very judgmental and often hypocritical.  It’s as if they can’t associate that this is a person and that it’s okay for a person to say and do things that you may not like.  

In this case, I found myself caught up in the conversation.  I agreed mostly with the sentiments of the initiating celebrity.  I don’t think selfies in and of themselves are bad things.  I think, like all things in life, the motivation behind something is often more important than the act itself.  The problem is that too often people are taking pictures of themselves to seek validation, to help boost their self-esteem.  This external validation just buries some people deeper in a hole, because the word to focus on in self-esteem, is self, and they still aren’t doing that. 

Forever people have looked for worth in all the wrong places, that isn’t a new thing.  But in this age of social media and technology, people have become disconnected from others, from themselves.  This was evident in the selfie discussion, just as much as it was case in point with some people’s reactions to the conversation in general.  A lot of individuals missed the importance of what was being talked about, because they weren’t looking at the big picture of what was being discussed, they only saw what was being said.  They are two very different things.  

Even if I hadn’t agreed with this persons particular logic, that would have been okay.  It was the act of the conversation itself that primarily impressed me.  Still, some people went as far as un-following this individual, all because they respectfully voiced their opinion.  This blew my mind, because had I not been following this person already, I’d have started.  That is infinitely disturbing to me, it’s not what being a fan is about.  That is sort of my point.  I could take it much deeper than that, because in reality, none of us will ever agree on everything, and it’s a very big problem in this world today that we judge people so singularly, when all we need do is show a bit of respect for the opinion of others.  

The moral of the story is that there is a difference between being a fan of something someone does, and being a fan of a person.  The later actually requires knowing said person.   I hope people can remember that and really look at what it is someone is trying to accomplish with their comments before you condemn them.  The motivation behind their words is very important.  In this case, I think that this celebrity could have had this same conversation on many different platforms, without involving social media at all, and yet he chose to engage a bunch of random strangers, thereby giving his time and a bit of insight into his thoughts.  If people looked at that separately, as coming from a person, not from a character that they like- maybe they would have seen it a bit differently.  We are all responsible for one thing in this life, and one thing only, ourselves.  It should always be a priority to show a level of respect and appreciation for others, celebrity or not. It really doesn't matter how many people follow you, or what you do for a living, what is important is how much integrity you have.

 

I feel like I should also say that for the most part, the responses to the conversation were positive, thought provoking, and giggle worthy.

 

To finish this post out, I'm going to leave you with examples of acceptable and unacceptable selfies. 

Top Gun Selfie - Acceptable

It's beginning to look a lot like this is never acceptable

Implied baby selfie - acceptable

Wrong my friend, the internet can judge you - not acceptable

It's like a Trump dog/human hybrid - Acceptable

Two mustaches, one man - Acceptable... and yet, not

Super Selfies - Acceptable

Not only is this acceptable, it's brilliant!

No need to say anything!

Real or Not Real? Tea Without Sugar Sucks?

Last night I watched the end of a series that for me has been one of the most successful attempts at adapting a book series to film.  In the first three films all of the main elements from the book carried over to the screen.  There was great use of character and any changes seemed to only strengthen the series.  Mockingjay 2 did not disappoint in upholding that legacy.  I’ll touch on both the key points and the really unfortunate ones.  There will be spoilerish discussion.

The film picks up pretty close to where the last one left off.  Peeta isn’t doing so well.  He still can’t seem to remember what is real, and what isn’t real.  Is he Quaid or Hauser?  He doesn’t know.  And even when Katniss is healing from vocal cord injuries people are still telling her what to say.  She throws shade at the Doctor examining her while Haymitch does what Haymitch does for most of the film, hang out in the corner fixing his weave and following Katniss around.  Harrelson was way underutilized. 

Keep an eye out for Plutarch, btw, he is like the Little Finger of Panem.  It makes me sad to think about how much more we could have had of his great character if it weren't for the tragic death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman. 

Now that Katniss had her voice back she immediately asked to go see Prince Eric, of course they tell her no, because it’s way too dangerous, but wait- he is doing better and so they want to send in someone who he knows to see how he reacts.  I’m thinking, it’s dangerous, so Haymitch, right?  Nope, what is too dangerous for Katniss is not too dangerous for Prim.  It doesn’t go well, Peeta is still crazy and he still looks decrepit.  Snow – 1, Team MJ – 0.  Throughout the entire film, Josh Hutcherson does a great job of presenting the internal struggle that Peeta is dealing with.  There is dialogue direct from the book that I was happy to see.  In addition to that, it's like you see him plump up as his character gets a grasp on reality and he starts to look more like a real boy.

Lookin' good, Peeta

 

About now we get to see a bit of what is going on in the rest of Panem.  Rebels be rebelling, loyals be hiding in a mountain, Snow be coughing, Coin be plotting, and Finnick is making babies!  One thing that I was really glad they downplayed was the intensity of the love triangle.  When reading the novels, I was never a huge fan of Katniss.  I found the way she was so fickle with Peeta and Gale’s emotions to be about as thoughtful as Jenny in Forrest Gump.  Do not fear shippers, the love triangle is there, it’s just not quite as flip-floppy as it was in the books.  The films makes it pretty clear that Peeta is the one who gets the majority of Katniss’ attention.  Instead of actually getting down with Gale while Total Recall is in the next tent, their intimacy is limited to a kiss meant to divert her having to talk about which dude she loves always and forever, and Gale is having no part of it. 


No idea.  I hate you. 

 

After the end of the first Mockingjay film I did find myself concerned that they wouldn’t be able to establish Coin as a villain in one movie.  When I’m wrong, I’m wrong, and I wasn’t right!  Julianne Moore did a great job with Coin.  She came across as very cold and manipulative in a way that made her very different than Snow.  I actually find their names pretty juxtaposed.  Coins name fits Snow in that everything seems like a game or a spectacle to him.  On the flip side, pun intended, Snows name fits Coins very cold personality. 

Moving on, the visual effects and action of the film were infinitely my favorite of the series so far.  The game like activity of the pods when the group takes the Capitol was amped up in a good way.  It was a lot of fun to finally get to see Finnick unleash some asskickery, even though it was super bitter sweet knowing what was coming.  The mutts were much scarier than expected, they had a very Resident Evil look to them, and this scene brought on the feels even with years of preparation. 



Claflin, I think your stunt double is showing

 

After that unfortunate moment, Katniss carries on in a slightly different manner than in the books, she meets Cheetara and takes a nap with her squad before she and Gale do a really bad job at blending in with the Capitol crowd.  I don't know what was more difficult to watch, the bomb scene or how stupid the Capitol citizens were in the moments that proceeded it. 

Oh look, a weird looking thing falling from the sky after they just ripped our children out of our arms and the rebels shot at us!  I wonder what it could be? 

Good things I’m sure. 

 

I had a hard time the moment the little girl started screaming for her presumed dead mother (R.I.P random citizen) when the rebels attacked.  I don’t do well with things like that, but I digress. 

From this point forward things played out very similarly to how they did in the books.  Haymitch is still lurking around not doing much.  He has a good comment here or there, but mostly he just lingers.  The execution scene was grandiose.  I do wish they wouldn’t have cut out Katniss’ suicide attempt because I think it really shows where she was as a person and her struggles with the idea of being captive, but we end up at that same place, with the same outcome and feeling.  Which for me would be, why the hell do I have to go back and live in District 12?  That place looked bad before.  Peeta is back to being more baker and less Jack Torrance.  Katniss has severe PTSD and plays OCD games in her head all day, every day.  Basically, all’s well that ends well.

Random Thoughts-

How exactly did Prims cat get back to District 12? 

Anyone else notice that Finnick seems to find just about everything funny?

We get it, Katniss is the girl repetitively on fire either literally or symbolically. 

Note to directors- try not to make your audience vomit before all of the good parts.

This went on forever, and ever, and ever, and...

 

 Until next time, may the odds be ever in your favor. 

What's With Today, Today

Today is a great day to be a nerd. It's both the release date of the final Hunger Games film, more on that later, and the fall finale of Heroes Reborn.

In honor of the later I dug up an old song parody I did back when the original Heroes show was in full swing. It is reminiscent of better times, back when Matt Parkman only mind raped and held prisoner people who deserved it; the days when he shared a place with Mohinder Suresh, and the two of them did a really bad job at raising and protecting Molly. The homoerotic subtext was everywhere; it was a shippers dream. This song pays tribute to that shipper romance, from the perspective of Mo Suresh, and is a parody of the best song to parody ever- Baby Got Back.

That look, though!

My Two Inept Dads

So, anyway,  without further ado, I give you...

Parkman Got Back

[Intro]
Oh, my, God. Maya, look at his butt.
It is so big. He looks like,
one of those company guys.

But, y'know, who understands those company guys?
They don’t even need to talk to him,
he can totally read their minds, que?
I mean, his butt, is just so big.

I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean – it makes me want to cry. Look!
He's just so…

Maya…dying… MAYA


[Sur Eshs-a-lot]
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other heroes can't deny
That when a dude walks in with a gun on his waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna get mackin'
'Cause you noticed that cop was packin'
Deep in the jeans Matt's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna live with ya
And raise a GPS enabled kid(a)
The company boys tried to warn me
But those doe eyes you got make me feel so corny

Ooh, Officer Parkman
You say you wanna live in my apartment
Well, mind rape me, so slow
'Cause you ain't that average hero

I've seen him working
It gets me smirking
Cause he's sweet, bliss
Gets me going like mitosis
I'm tired of Isaac's paintings
Saying Claire is the thing
Take the average Indian scientist and ask him that
I'd rather have Matt!
So, Us! (Yeah!) Them! (Yeah!)
Has your lover got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Parkman got back!

(NYPD face with a fluffy booty)
Parkman got back!

[Sur Eshs--a-lot]
I like em’ strong and big
And when I'm in acting like a doofus
I just can’t help myself, sometimes I’m not that bright
But Matt makes it right
I wanna get him home
And use my beaker to, ugh, make.his.bunsen.burner
I ain't talkin' bout all guys
It's mind control that makes me sigh
I like em real big and goofy
maybe with a little stubble
Mess-up-a lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at company files
Men with powers of many different styles
You can keep that frat
I'll keep my men like Matt

A word to my law enforcement brotha, I wanna get wit ya
I won’t try to bullshit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I'm gonna…
Do something stupid whenever your gone
Parky got it goin' on
Some shippers won't like this song
'Cause they'd rather see me with Sylar
But I'd rather share a flat with Matt
Cause I’m smart, also dumb,
And I’m down to get my Science on!

So, ladies! {Yeah!} Fella's! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my yellow cab {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even labcoats got to shout
Parkman got back!

Parkman got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to partners, Bob ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection.  One of them? Ha ha, only if he reads minds.

[Sur-eshs-a-lot]
So Monica can build a Honda, Or do workouts just like Fonda
But Monica ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
Sureshies anaconda don't want none
Unless it's from Parkman!

Peter can paint, Nathan can fly
But they just aren’t my Matt
His wife wanted to play that "hard" role
And tell him that the mind reading's got to go
So she decided to toss it and leave it
And I pulled up quick to retrieve it

So Bob says that your daft
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause you make that face when you’re reading my mind
and I’m thinking it’s time
Me and Niki being partners
That ain't the right thing!
Give me Matty and Mohinder
And I won’t even miss her

So Sylar tried to dis
'Cause his name was on my daddies list
He saw Matt and tried to kill em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So dudes, if the butt is round,
And you want a double helix throw down,
Dial 1-900-INU-ENDO a lot
And project them nasty thoughts
Parkman got back!

(Nathan in the middle, if it's okay with Matt! X4)

All about that what?!?!

"All about the bass" the parody version, by Me... "All up in your face"

By now we've all heard the song "All about the Bass" about a million times, and it's a catchy song... but some of us got to talking today and it's super unfair and feels even uncomfortable for any smaller girls to sing and I was in a parody type of mood so decided to parody a version for all of the smaller girls who don't have the bass but maybe have other assets.  So here you have it... The parody version "All up in your face."  I need to get together with some of my video making friends so we can get this thing viral!

Because you know
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face

Yeah, it's pretty clear, my booty never grew
But I got cleavage, cleavage
Like them strippers do
‘Cause I’m a compact cutie, that makes all the boys fight
No junk in the trunk but bright head lights

I see them magazines, they think we never eat
You know that shit ain’t true
Trust me, I like my meat.
So if you got beauty boobies, go on and push em’ up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
Just extra awesome at the top

Yeah, the Doctor she told me that I have them small bones
I say, "Find your best asset and focus in on that zone."
So if you're drowning, a tiny hiney might not help you float
But I got something much, much better – a motorboat

Because you know
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face

My pants fit in the back
Go head and tell them twerking hoochies that
No, I’m just sayin, it’s this thing called class
When every inch of it is covered
All the thong and all the crack

Yeah the Doctor she told me that I have them small bones
I say,  "Find your best asset and focus in on that zone."
So if you're drowning a tiny hiney might not help you float
But I got something much, much better – a motorboat

Because you know
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face, no bubble
They’re all up in your face
In your face